Darz first date Pt III
Now the rest of the way home (no I didnt turn around) Ace's words are ringing more and more true. I mean here I am celibate for damn near 3 years and the first date I go on Im taking somebody home. Someone I might be physically attracted to but not mentally. I keep thinking what am I doing? But just like any good ol alkie or addict I find justification for that drink or hit. "Ahhh we'll just watch some TV or play some pool or somthing." Deep down Im thinking "Yeah right." Anyway so we get to the house and its like she has radar or GPS in her sleep cuz just as Im pulling up she's waking up. "Hey!! We her already??" Thinking there she goes sounding like Nelly again. And the "Hey's" Like Jaime Foxx playing Wanda on In living Color. I ignore it. "Yeah we're here." So I pull up on the side of the house next to my Bronco. First thing she sees. "Damn you live with a Cowboy or something?" Who's Jeep?" she says kind of in a disgusted way. I say "ohh no cowboys. Thats my Bronco." She's like "damn" turning her lip up the way you ladies do. No offense but you do. It look like a Barney Rubble Mobile. Im not offended cuz I thought it looked like a blue and white brick with wheels. I laugh it off. Anyway like I said said Im house manager at this place and one rule is no female company after a certain time so we dont use the front door. Go in the side of the house to get into the garage which where I spend most of my time anyway. Open the gate and she sees the van. "Damn yall drive old folks around or something?" IM like "No thats my 15 seater. "Hey!!! (again) Road trip!!! Cache Creek thats what Im talkin about!!" Im thinking "Good lord it would take a year to get the smell of cheap perfume and Boones out the van. "Sure. one day" I say. Im weak. Now keep in mind the garage is my little getaway from my 5150's. I dont wanna be bothered then to the garage it is. Off limits to everyone. Im hooked up with my computer, couple of TV's, competition pool table and video equipment. Dont ask about the video equipment. For another story. We walk in and the first thing she sees is the pool table (its big. cant miss it) and a digital camera on a tripod. Wait let me splain. While at times Im pretty self conscious other times Im the cats meow. Head honcho. The Big cheese. The past, present and future big thing. So at my vain times who is gonna take a better picture of me then me? So back to Cacha. Yeah everyone gets a nickname. She says "Oooh you have a pool table (no she didnt say Hey this time) and yo camera already setup. I wanna take some pictures." Before I could say anything she hops her (you know I wanna say it but Im keeping it clean) up on the pool table boones in hand and disco boots all over the felt and starts posing. Now keep in mind this is a competition pool table worth a few thousand..... AND ITS NOT MINE!!! WTF??? Im like "Ohhh damn!!" But she looked so damn good on that table. Mahogany on mahogany. Weave justa flowin. What can I say I havent said. Im weak.. I turn to head to the camera and who is standing right there lookin pissed. Ace. he doesnt say a word and I go into jeopardy mode. "What is the quadratic equation. What is 3.14. What is the pythagoras theorum." I know it aint working. I start snapping pictures and not more than two minutes into it she says "Set the timer and come take some with me"as she slips off the disco boots. All I could say was "Ummmm Ill be right back." I could feel Ace staring at me as I walk to the kitchen trying to clear my mind "what is 1789. Who is George Lucas. What is Schindlers List." Not working. I I know I shouldnt but I took a big swig of some Bombay Sapphire. Then another. Back to the garage. I walk over to the camera and as I approach Ace turns his back to me. Im thinking "Im gonna keep it innocent!!" What is Des Moines. What is Montpelier. What is Carson City. Back to the kitchen. Another swig. Back to the garage. Set timer and over to the pool table.....
to be continued....
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