Well well friends another "E true Hollywood story of Darz" I planned on keeping to myself but funny how the mind works. Most of you know back in 2004 I was in the market for a Navigator. No not Escalade or some Japanese Luxury SUV. Navigator. now you would think this quest in the bay area would be pretty easy but let me tell you. It was harder then finding the next ex Mrs Regan. I was like forget it. Every Lincoln dealer in the bay had my cell phone, work phone and home phone number. Calling like crazy but waisting my time. Well after about 6 months Im about ready to give up and wait for the next model year when Menlo Lincoln calls. They insist the have the Black Navigator fully loaded yadda yadda and get here cuz its sure to go fast. It was a Sunday and I know from experience Sunday's are big car shopping days so I rush on down. Well I get there, see the Nav and it was almost perfect but still not what I wanted. I decide to walk around the lot since I was there and OMG!! I see a black on black Lincoln LS. Not your typical LS. Had a tail on the back, larger wheels and a full size spare. Im giving it the looky loo and right on cue out comes a salesperson. "Hi!! My name (who cares) and I see you are interested in my car!!" He says all jovial just like a salesperson. Im like (yeah I say like alot) "Your car?" He says 'Yes. Im the owners son and sales manager. Best Lincoln Ive ever driven. It is for sale. We are only allowed to keep them 6 months. Now as the owners son you can imagine all the maint..."I cut him off. "So your the sales manager? So know matter who sells the car you get paid right?" He says Affirmative!" with a cheesy ass smile. Im thinking aint no way a trekkie is selling me a car. He asks "Have you been working with one of our top notch salespersons?" I respond "No but I deal best with women (tell yall something you didnt know) if you dont mind." He said "Not a problem. Let me get Kathy. She has been with us since our inception." Already I hate the way this guy talks but he's about to go the way of the dodo anyway so I respond "Kathy wouldnt happen to be the one thats been watching us in the brown business suit would she be?" he says "No. Thats Lisa but shes new and..."I cut him off again. "Thats ok. I want Lisa." Old Hustler or new wannabe hustler. Which would you pick? Plus the dealership has been there 30 years so how old would that make Kathy? She aint falling for my game. "She'll be right out but please take it easy on her. Like I said she's new." "So am I" (whatever your name is) I said smurking." Im watching as they talk and after 30 seconds or so here she comes. Good Lord now let me tell you about Lisa. She is about 5'7" in what looks to be about 4 inch heels and about 140 pounds (yeah Im good like that) wearing a brown skirt business suit that fit like it meant all business in more ways then one. Skirt slightly above the knees and somewhat tight fitting with a small split in the back. How could I see a split in the back from the front? I deverted all 4 of my remaining senses I didnt need to my vision. I can see through things and believe me the xray vision was on point. White blouse with the first two buttons open and collar on the outside of the jacket. Medium length light brown hair just flowing on this nice Sunday morning... I come to the rest of my senses and give myself a mental look over. casual relaxed look wearing Green polo cargo shorts, nike boots and a tan oversize golf type shirt. You know like an izod or polo short sleeve. Tan Polo hat on backwards. I gotta tell you I felt like straightening my hat real quick. Anyway she gets to the car and extends her right hand holding a clipboard in the left. "Hi. My name is Lisa and Ill be selling you this car today!!" I extend my hand and shake hers saying "Well Im Tony. Nice to meet you and how do you know Im buying this car today?" She said with the confidence of my Lion Queen (how do they do that?) "Well Tony. Thats my job. you are going to let me do my job arent you?" batting her eyes playfully and she gives a slight giggle. I love giggles. I respond "Well that all depends. I have a job here to." She asks "And whats that?" I said "To evaluate you. Lets see what you got. Tell me about this car." "I thought youd never ask" she says kind of giddy. I was thinking I could have talked all day. "You are looking at a 2004 Lincoln LS ultimate with some custom features. Inherently this car comes with a 1 of a kind 3.9 liter V8 putting out 280 horse, Drive by wire transmission and has an almost perfect 50 to 50 weight balance." Now she hasnt told me anything I dont already know so I try to trip her up... "And how to did they establish the 50/50 weight balance?" I ask smart mouthed. She answers "They located the battery in the trunk." Im so damn impressed. She asks now somewhat seductively leaning on my car... wait.. the car that is "Would you like to take it for a spin?" I responded "I thought youd never ask!!" She responds "Like that?" Im thinking deja f*cking vu!! Scuse the language but I respond "yeah like that." "Let me get the keys..." shes says as she bounces off.
To be continued... sorry so long before getting to the action but this one is in my head so vividly!!!! Things are about to really heat up!!
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